Life, Love, and People

I'm a pretty pessimistic person sometimes..just to warn you. But read on, if you choose to.

I've realized that when it comes to living life, there is no such thing as luck or fate or chance or whatever you may choose to call it. There is only willpower. Far too many people depend on luck, as if they are merely a leaf blowing aimlessly through life. There's too much laziness, people who don't do anything for themselves; instead they wait for things to happen to them. And when bad things happen, the blame is always externally placed. Yes, there may be reasons why things happen; yes, maybe the higher powers that be work in mysterious ways; and yes, there are things beyond our control. But you know what? Ultimately, you're responsible for your own life, and you just have to accept that responsibility and do things to make life better for yourself. No one, but yourself, is going to be there to do it for you all the time. 

Also, there is no such thing as love. Wait—let me rephrase that. There is no such thing as being IN love. I'm talking about the kind of romantic love that everybody in the whole world seems to be searching endlessly for. I'm talking about the kind of love that people mean when they use phrases like "soul mates" or "meant for each other." That kind of love is just a concept, a notion that's ideal but not realistic. It makes for great movies and books, but not for real life. If you waste time looking for your "soul mate," you're going to find yourself very disappointed and miserable, because it doesn't exist, not permanently. The truth about love is that there's nothing magical about it. You find someone you're compatible with, someone who loves you and treats you right, and you mutually strive to make it work. You develop a habit for each other, you establish a routine, and you work hard at learning and growing together through discrepancies. That's it. The whole "weak in the knees" or "butterflies in your stomach" feeling won't always be there. In fact, it'll rarely be there. But that doesn't mean your relationship sucks. So stop looking for your knight in shining armor or the girl who will make all your dreams come true. It's not going to happen, and anyone who says they're living it is only pretending….which leads me to my next point.

It's hard to come across people who are genuine; most are just fakey. I think that adults in general are among the most phoney. Why? Because of pressures that exist in the world of grown ups. Adults know what is needed to succeed in the world and they'll fake what is necessary to get a step up in life, whether socially or professionally. This is why I'm glad I spend most of my time working with people who are not quite adults yet. Kids, even most teenagers, are still to some degree genuine in a very simple, naïve sort of way. There's something refreshing about it that just differs from the complexities of adult politics. I can only deal with fakiness so much of the time.

And lastly, a lot of people are too busy being assertive to really look at the multiple sides of any issue. Or the multiple sides to any person. It's like they have to form an opinion right on the spot or their credibility as a smart, strong person will crumble. For me, this is the sole reason why there are so many problems between people. Too many people talk and don't listen. Even when they do listen, their listening goes only as far as paying attention to look for holes in the other person's words or to find info that will justify their judgments. How many people actually listen without voicing their opinions right away? Very few. I mean, think about it. How many times have you tried talking to someone and just felt like you're not really understood or that the other person isn't even really listening, because even before you're done talking, they're already spouting out their own babble? The other question I wonder about is why people are so quick to make convictions anyway? And why constantly prove themselves right? Is there nothing more to who we are as people? Is that the level of our self-esteem? Nothing is ever just right or wrong, people! If it were, life would be so much simpler. But it's not.

Guess that's all that comes to mind at the moment. See, I told you—pretty pessimistic, pretty dismal. Don't say I didn't warn you!

(reposted from my old myspace blog)