Quite some time ago, I realized that I was pushing myself too far with work, that I was a work-a-holic. For years now, I've held multiple jobs, never just one. During those years, I've also gone back to grad school and raised three children. It's a work ethic, a set of habits, and a lifestyle I've developed over the years that I've become so accustomed to. As crazy as it sounds, it's hard to let go. I've tried before.
But I know that I need to change that part of myself, for my own benefit and for that of my kids and my husband.
Well, I'm finally able to say that I'm slowly changing. I've been saying no to new contracts from the colleges I adjunct for. In fact, I recently finished the last of the courses for those colleges and am currently teaching for only one--the college I work for full-time. In other words, I only have one job right now.
One job.
That hasn't happened to me in more than 10 years. It's kind of strange. Different.
The other day I was online on a job site. I have this habit of perusing job sites and scouting out work opportunities. I always think to myself, "I'm only going to see what's out there, out of curiosity. I'm not going to apply." But then I see something interesting, and my mind starts churning. My curiosity, that urge I get to always be learning and to always experience new things, gets the best of me. "Maybe I'll apply just for the hell of it. Just to see where it leads," I tell myself. And that is how it always starts. My work-a-holic habits and me... how I wind up with two, sometimes three, jobs at a time.
Well, I was on that job website and I started going down that route again. I got as far as going to this company's website and uploading my resume... and then I stopped. I didn't go any further. I didn't submit my application.
Even now as I think about it, I'm still tempted to go back and apply. It just sounds like such a cool job, and I could get some great work experience out of it!
But I won't. I just have to keep telling myself that I won't apply.
I suppose this in itself--having only one job--is a learning experience. A new kind of work ethic, a new set of habits, a new kind of lifestyle that I'll have to adjust to.
I can do it.
