The Meaning Behind My Tattoos

To me, tattoos are personal and meaningful artwork bestowed upon the body. I have two tattoos, and both have significant meaning to me.

The first one represents my family. My name in Hmong is Nou (or "Hnub" as spelled in my native language--pronounced "new"), and it means sun. Hence the image of the rising or setting sun. The bonsai is my husband's favorite tree, and the three little birds are for my three children. Hence the silhouetted bonsai and birds.

The idea for this tattoo came about as a result of a blue birthmark on my right shoulder, which I wanted to hide... not that it bothered me a great deal but people who saw my birthmark were always assuming my husband was beating me up. Poor guy was constantly getting dirty looks from strangers as it looks exactly like a bruise. lol  So I decided to get a tattoo that would cover up the birthmark. If you look closely at the sun, you'll see that there are some bluish or darker hues to it (in the middle, closer to the orange/red parts). That is the birthmark underneath. I also love this tattoo because I love landscape photos, especially those with the sun in it. This tattoo reminds me of beautiful landscapes, the kind that makes my stress and tensions melt.

My second tattoo stands for my ethnicity and culture. It is representative of the traditional Hmong necklace, which is called a "xauv" (pronounced "sah-ow")

There is a sun on the pendant part, again for my name, and the necklace part consists of two tulips, which are my favorite flowers. When I see my tulips pop out of the ground every spring, it's always an ecstatic moment for me. Simple things like that can make me so happy. I suppose it's just symbolic of all that is spring--new beginnings, warmth, and the most positive of outlooks... which brings me back full circle to my culture.

I'm a fairly Americanized person. I grew up in a very white town and hung out with white people rather than Hmongs. There was a time when I really had no care for my culture at all; I was what some would call "white-washed" or a "twinkie." However, as I've grown older, I feel myself being pulled back to the Hmong culture and wanting to embrace it more. So in a way, this represents new beginnings for me, a return to the culture, land, language, and traditions held so dear by my parents and elders.

Originally, this tattoo was going to be placed around my ankle, but it turned out the image would've had to be made much smaller, so I decided to put it on my side instead.

Both tattoos were designed specifically for me. I don't think I could ever walk into a tattoo parlor or look for images online and just pick out an already made design. It just doesn't feel as meaningful. If it's going to be on my body permanently, then I want it customized, and frankly, I want to be the only one with that tattoo walking around. A distinctive artwork. That's how I see it.

Do you have any tattoos or want any? And if so, what do you have, or what would you want?

Hope Revisited

When I was a child, I thought I could be anything I wanted. Anything at all.

It's what we're taught in school, right? It's what many parents tell their children. It's what I find myself repeating to my kids sometimes when we sit down and talk about their future. I want them to know that with hard work and determination, yes, it's true... they can become anything they want.

Right???

Now we can discuss the merits of whether that kind of mentality is truly accurate or whether it's just a facade. And we can dip into political and social issues and go into what keeps certain bodies of the human race down while others rise so unseemly...we can name injustices as to why this happens. We could, reader.

But that's not really what this post is about.

You see, lately I've been feeling like something is lost. As we age, something gets destroyed, and the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it is hope that's lost.

Now I've written about hope before, way back when I first started this blog a few years ago. And I'm revisiting it again, because out of all of the human emotions, I believe that hope is the most powerful and potentially the most life-changing... if we let it be.

When you have hope, it literally lights up your world. But when hope falters, there is nothing worse than the darkness that seeps in and settles.

Think back to your childhood. In the eyes of a child, all is possible; nothing is uncertain.

As we age, the possibilities chip away little by little; the uncertainty rises.

Now I like to think I'm a hard worker, a go-getter. If there's something I want, I go for it and I don't like excuses. I take my time in whatever I do; after all, I want to do it well, not just rush through for the sake of having done it.

But I'm not going to lie. There is always a little voice inside my head that questions my actions and the possibilities I'm reaching out for. Why are you doing this? It says. What makes you think you can accomplish that? Sometimes it simply says, you're tired. Just rest. Who cares.

And sometimes I listen to it. Sometimes I don't. Regardless, I've noticed that I've increasingly let go of hope and the possibilities of what I could do with my life.

This is not to say that I no longer have hope, but it's that childhood sense of hope that I miss. You know the one I'm talking about. The one in which a mere stick is transformed into a sword to slay monsters with and rid the world of evil. The one in which the future stands bold like an exclamation mark instead of the question mark that we too often see as adults.

Somewhere through the years of life, we've learned the word "can't" and we've internalized it so well that it's just a natural part of who we are.

Of course I'm not silly enough to believe that a mere stick can really solve the problems that exist, like it once did when I was a child. But perhaps it's time to pretend a little and just believe that all things are possible. Just have a little more hope. That is all.

For life seemed better then, when we were kids and when all things were possible. Didn't it?

Hmm, perhaps I'm just feeling a little gloomy today. Tomorrow when I wake up, maybe the world will be as promising as it ever was...